If you’re unfamiliar with “the manosphere,” it is a burgeoning
internet subculture dedicated to men hashing out all things masculine. It’s a
fascinating, diverse virtual world born of the damaging excesses of feminism,
which have left many men sorting through the wreckage of gender relations and
questioning what it means to be a man in this grave new world. Much of it – the
Dalrock and Art of Manliness websites come to
mind – is valuable in terms of shared advice, self-examination, healthy debate,
and supportive fellowship in a culture that is often openly hostile to traditional
notions of masculinity. But there is an ugly subset of the manosphere that
gives the rest of it a bad name.
A prime example is the website Return of Kings, created and run by a
controversial American PUA (that’s “pick-up artist” in manosphere acronyms) who
goes by “Roosh V.” Considering that Roosh has more than a dozen books under his
belt about “banging” women abroad, the site is popular for its advice on
“game,” or getting laid.
I debated giving RoK any attention, but when its
bluntly-titled article “How
to Convince a Girl to Get an Abortion” from last year was brought to my
attention, I decided to address it as an example of the depths to which RoK and
its ilk in the manosphere can sink. Written not by Roosh but by the
pseudonymous contributor “bacon,” it offers up three techniques that have
gotten bacon off the hook in his personal experience impregnating sex partners.
“Let’s face it,” he begins, “sexually active people have
accidents. Shit happens.” And when it does, “if you are not ready to be a
father, the following arguments may help you convince a girl to get an
abortion.” Actually, if you’re not ready to be a father, don’t put yourself in
a position to have “an accident.” Take responsibility for the fact that even
protected sex is no guarantee against pregnancy.
But if you’re not willing to do that, and “shit happens,” bacon
can help. The first method is best, he says, “for a girl who believes there is
an emotional element to your sexual relationship” – in other words, a young
woman who has been misled into thinking that her boyfriend sees her as more
than a sexual receptacle. When she discovers that she has conceived a child
with this lying user, and hopes to take the relationship to the next level,
here is bacon’s solution:
You should sound as sincere as
possible and tell her that you want her to be the mother of your children one
day, but that now is not the right time to start a family. Explain you
want to wait until you are further along in your career/life goals and you can
afford to give your future family all the comforts of life you cannot deliver
today. Finally, explain if she has the abortion now, you will be able to plan
your lives together so that everything is perfect. Then, after she agrees and
has the abortion, dump her.
Problem solved! And in its wake are a dead child and a
devastated young woman burdened with guilt over her complicity. Bravo, bacon.
“The second method,” he continues, “is best used on girls
where minimal emotions were involved in the sexual relationship… I call it the
asshole method.” Actually, that seems more like an apt description of the first
method, but here is number two:
Make it clear that if she keeps the
baby you will be opting out of fatherhood. Explain that while she may end up
collecting the minimum in child support that the state can take from you, in no
way will you participate in raising this kid or being a father to it...
Once you have laid out your
position, get your car keys and tell her you will drive her to the abortion
clinic, pay for it, and have her take care of it today so you both can move on
with your lives.
Again, problem solved. Again, dead child and devastated young
woman.
I can’t decide whether the third method is sick or just
ridiculous. The gist of it is, tell the girl that you would love to have
children but a rare genetic disease runs in your family: “Ideally use one which
causes an early death and/or horrible lifestyle conditions while alive… Bring
up a nonexistent sibling and tell her that you are still recovering from their
painful passing a few years ago.”
To help convince her, “spend an afternoon volunteering at a
hospital or center for developmentally disabled people. Take a picture of
someone who could pass as a relative… Do whatever you think is necessary to
sell the seriousness of this genetic disease to her.”
Is this manliness? Is it manly to lie to, manipulate, and
emotionally brutalize women? This is not to say that many women aren’t also
guilty of such behavior, but two wrongs don’t make a right, as the old saw
goes, and the question here is, is this
manly behavior? Is it manly to force the death of a baby born of your
shared irresponsibility?
Some commenters, to their credit, expressed revulsion at the
article. Others around the internet wondered whether it, and RoK itself, might
be satire – no such luck, although the site does enjoy generating outrage. The
sad fact is that Return of Kings and a few like it are disturbingly popular
with angry, bitter guys who lament that all women today are whores and yet
obsess over how to score with them – and trick them into abortions, if
necessary.
Guys like Roosh and his
acolytes have been around since the beginning of time, of course, but the
internet enables such like-minded predators worldwide to find each other,
create a community to share information like “8 Essential Rules for Banging a
Single Mom” (it’s even worse than it sounds), and bond over their palpable hatred
of women. But for all their posturing as “alphas” – and there is a lot of it –
such creeps don’t qualify as real men, who understand that manhood is about character
and values, not notches on a bedpost.
(This article originally appeared here on Acculturated, 4/17/14)
